The path to peace is a daily practice that might be crooked and hard to navigate but ultimately without peace, we have no love, no creativity or union with the soul, no breath of life.
Expressing what lies beneath is a lifelong journey, especially as an artist. There is a storyteller within us all who has huge outward energy bursting to get out. From age four I was sent for dance classes as I couldn't keep still, and it became my first true love, my creative expression. It fed my soul and brought me peace during stressful times, it made my heart burst with joy and got my emotions out! Having dyslexia and dyspraxia, school was not my natural home, but the arts in all their forms were exciting, full of intellectual soul seekers, designers and pure joy.
When I was diagnosed with Dyspraxia it was not your usual case, as I had been a dancer from age 4, I spoke dance/movement and had brilliant balance and coordination when dancing, whereas most people with Dyspraxia really have problems with picking up and remembering routines, I could do that very well, I danced my whole life which turned to a love of yoga. In fact it is one tool I use in remembering things, is working with my body or for instance (I think this is common - not sure, maybe), to remember my right hand from left, I have developed a tap, it's now an instant reaction, I tap my right side of my body or my left hand with my right, this tells my brain which hand is which, if someone says 'turn left', I tap my right and I know the other way is left, it is so subtle only a few of my friends really notice and you can imagine as a yogi I have developed other ways as well, so I don't have to tap myself constantly in class!
Ultimately as you grow and nurture and try to fit into boxes from our culture, a career, material success, people pleasing, peers and having a ‘fall back career’ you find an alley and try to stride ahead. Years of working in the fast paced world of fashion design, was not the career I had dreamed of - long hours, workaholic and drinking culture, I found myself in a void, a dark space, ultimately feeling empty, confidence battered - which as a neurodiverse child was already pretty hard, self loathing from previous experiences and wounds, the death of a close friend, grief that was pushed down, emotionally pushed down and numb… I had forgotten my creative soul. It needed nurturing and feeding…
Transitions, Oil on Canvas
Freedom from the self started by one day walking into a temple, curious and living in fast paced Hong Kong, a friend from work invited me to join her family lineage. I felt an inner peace from the hectic world outside, sometimes you can still feel alone in the most crowded places, hearing others speak of their darkest moments and coming into the light with spiritual grounding. Temple was the catalyst to connecting there was something else within me, deep to commune with my soul and grounding in my body, which was a strange concept at first, though I had always practiced yoga since my early teens and had a strong self practice, mainly for the physical benefits, I hadn’t reflected too much on the deeply spiritual roots, from that day things changed and my horizons lifted.
The importance of grounding to the earth when you work in a very stressful environment, feel not connected to your body or live away from your country is so important, I found so many of you in the shop were really struggling with grounding.
At the temple we would sit in shessin and our guide would communicate from the higher consciousnesses or Buddha energy. Feeling supported and seen, something I hadn't felt in a long, long time. The words communicated through sesshin were so true to my inner emotions, the prison created for myself, the modern world beating, feeling hard, holding on so tight and burying emotions so I couldn't get hurt again, no air to flow through. I was a baby buddha in my heart on the start of a lifelong journey that was opening up within me... I just knew I needed to get in commune with my spirit and I knew I needed to paint.
Komorebi, Sunlight through the trees
One day after meditation, I opened my eyes, went straight to the art store, bought a canvas and brushes and started to make marks, expressive marks and patterns. They were soft and beautiful. I took them to work and created prints with them for Anthropologie, this eventually turned into larger scale pieces as I experimented and literally danced with the canvas on my rooftop in summer days and it gave me the freedom to express again, no pressure, if felt just like dancing as a child, but with colour and thick paint!
I became absorbed in colour therapy, colour healing, energy work and meditation, painting, painting, painting and expressing my self. My spiritual side and connection, compassion all started to grow with my practice too.
This changed my life.
Aurelia Artistry Yoga Mat
Aurelia Original Artwork, Oil on Canvas
Long buried feelings of guilt, grief and pain.
Life can sometimes take over the best practices and intentions, the last decade for me has been a back and fourth of learning, going back to old habits and stress, working with colour and the energy body, ultimate self care and nourishment in every way and back to burying emotions and being a workaholic to escape loneliness or pain. If I stop painting, for lack of enthusiasm, lack of playfulness or too many burdens, I start to lose my other practices too and can feel myself slipping. So I have to paint, I accept that now, I am an artist, my soul has to express itself and has to balance and create space for creativity and contemplation otherwise it dies. It took a while to accept that and with that learning to embrace my artist self, mainly as a career it is a tough path to take, to turn up, face your self and human expression of light and shadow. My soul wants to communicate through colour and expression and stories of human spirit. I choose to share the love, beauty and joy of that with others, but we must not fear the shadow but learn and understand what that is within you and others.
Movement, the emotional body is all so intrinsically linked, and healing past pains and traumas with creativity such as painting, writing or movement can really help to bring peace. This is why I am so passionate about sharing the power and value of creativity, in a world where a computer can draw anything you would even imagine, there still is value in creating from the soul - that brings life to art, paintings can make you feel, make you weep or smile with joy.
Creativity for you could start with a meditation kit from a colleague or a mala to add into yoga or meditation practice, but it can open up so much more and tame the lion within to bring us true inner strength.
Life Happens.
Recently I had an episode of anxiety. For over a month waves of sadness and feelings of grief in the pit of my stomach kept me awake. I had been triggered, it was a death that catalysed a reaction in my body of emotions I had long kept buried, deep down. The energy body was erupting from past and telling me to let go, surrender to emotions and truly feel, something I had avoided for a long time, but in this painful time, I had my yoga practice, I had nature surrounding me with a hug and I had my creative outlay, I gave myself the gift of space (also as it was August everyone was on holiday - so why not embrace that slower energy). This combination did more for me that any pill, though I have never had an experience like it, this time has also taught me that the shadow has to be embraced, those feelings of pain and we collectively all have those emotions and maybe from our childhoods or experiences have less self worth or trouble giving yourself care, there are so many different techniques and information out there to help.
My prescription, walking in nature a lot, meditation, mindful slowing down, feeling the feminine and being motherly to myself (it's ok to embrace your feminine side, it's ok to be a woman in this world, you don't have to suppress that part of your psyche to succeed - I think anyway!), listening to music that I love and painting have all held my hands and guided me as it will do in the next and though I feel mentally a little battered, ‘I am safe, I am whole, I am enough’ is a key mantra and using the immense power of colour therapy in painting, healing and visualisation meditation to help move through. Healing, freedom and peace is a daily practice, connecting to hidden emotions is brave, expressing those emotions in a safe and creative way is a tonic.
Blue Island, oil on canvas, painted intensely during August 2023
Bringing colour into your life and home space can be a wonderful way to start the metamorphosis, bringing art that you love for your walls to lift your spirit every day, using colour on a primal level to communicate with the soul, in mindful painting to boost your mood, in yoga practice - being brave with your choices - it can all be small things to jump start your journey and when you are ready, your teacher will appear, you might wander into a yoga studio, a dance class, a gallery or even a temple, just out of curiosity.
Namaste, the light in me bows to the light in you.
Hope my story helps you connect to yours x
Kati
We have a selection of limited edition art prints available, alongside our artistry yoga mat collections, for more bespoke pieces you can get in touch via email to the studio or our contact page.
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